Do not be afraid of light

[hasapoint]

They smelled the battlefield long before they saw it. The apprentices and little Sisters who hadn't been on this kind of excursion before covered their noses and exclaimed. Vena didn't. As the child of a camp follower she would know to expect this, but her tread slowed and she looked repeatedly at Sister Lashan, especially as the sound of incredible numbers of crows cawing grew louder.

"Nasty, isn't it? Decay is part of death which is part of life," Lashan said firmly, if not totally without sympathy. How young had she been, the last time she was upset by the aftermath of battle? "There's armies that immediately turn around and sort the living from the dying from the dead and take care of that then and there. Not here, they're leaving it for the locals to handle or not and we're local enough. If you fight, you may well fight for people who'll leave you if you fall and move on. Make sure you at least have friends who'll look for you." They pressed on with their wagon. The donkey put its ears back but did not balk.

It wasn't as bad as it would get over the next few days. The bodies - it was now academic who had belonged to which side of whichever meaningless conflict this was - were not much bloated and decayed yet. Flies were not yet overwhelming. Right now the field of bodies was mostly attended by carrion birds, and various other birds that were willing to take advantage of the bounty before them. Finches among them, tiny beaks dipped red. A few other people could be seen picking their way across what had been a perfectly useable pasture. They kept clear. Lashan tasked girls to keep watch for them anyway, pretended not to see the ones who were being sick, and oversaw as dead men were loaded onto the donkeycart. They'd take them away a distance, say the rites, strip them of useful things, get them buried, and come back.

She paused. Something... like a sound. Not a sound. Lashan was hearing something with her mind, closer than the pickers. A threat? She stood like a sentinel and paid attention.

Comments

[garmr]

"There were mostly prostitutes. Sometimes the men brought their wives with them, or nuns from the church would stick around to treat the wounded. The troop never stayed in one place very long."

His world had been so centered around Gambino that he never formed particularly close relationships with the other women in the company. Shisu died so long ago that he barely remembered her, though he does remember that they were nicer to him than the men.

"Mercenaries only care about money, so you don't really see kids. If you're there, you work and you earn your place. That'll mean cooking and cleaning if you can't fight. With all the wars around, the loot and money never ran too short, so..."

There was a practical nature to it, in a way. War was business, and business was plentiful. Unlike a lord's army, they always had the option to turn away an unfavorable task and be hired by someone else. They weren't obligated to follow their employer's whims without good reason, and no noble wanted to anger a mercenary company wandering around in their territory. One way or another, they got what they wanted.

"Beats living in some village as a peasant," he decides.

[hasapoint]

"If there's prostitutes and wives, they're getting pregnant," Vena says pragmatically. "Maybe mercenary camp followers are better at getting rid of them, or not getting pregnant, and there's not kids. Mostly women in a camp don't want to be pregnant or having babies, or taking care of them. Or I guess you could just leave them behind when you go somewhere else."

She holds the turnip up to peer at it and idly wonders which of the four Twins she'd call on to work magic and make it into something better. Hunter beforehand, for finding a different thing. Crafter for cooking it. Maybe Healer for turning it into a carrot? Vena's not actually going to do any of those, obviously. Doing magic in even small ways is tiring and can go wrong.

Plenty of Vena's Sisters come from villages and there are unhappy stories from them, too, but she doesn't buy it and casts Guts a skeptical glance. "Hunh. You mean, it beats being a girl."

[garmr]

“Dunno. I never asked them.” he replies, admitting his own ignorance on the matter between the soldiers and their women. “Guess they must’ve been really good at getting rid of them.”

There was always that fear, wasn’t there? Of being unwanted and left behind. And how it was lorded over him, how he’d been taken in. Even when the unspeakable happened.

Clenching his fists, Guts decides he was thinking far too long about that part of his life. It’s better to keep it in the past where it belongs.

“Forget about it. I don’t know why I brought it up.”

He stares blankly at the floor, away from her. Better to bring that wall up before the kid touched a nerve.

[hasapoint]

Vena had meant the mercenary men would move on and leave the women behind, but she would've nodded at the idea of babies being left, unhappily but without particular feeling. Life in a soldiers' camp is cheap for most people and she's known some bad things to happen to little kids, sometimes even on purpose. It only bothers her so much. She doesn't want to think about it and be bothered.

"Yeah." She shrugs. Vena's not doing mind reading right now - after the way things were so loud on the roof even with just two people she wants to rest that sense - but she doesn't have to be to tell there's some kind of sore spot there. Doesn't matter. Not getting into peoples' pasts when they shutter them off is just expected here.

The only thing worse than eating a raw turnip, Vena decides, is wasting food. She gnaws off a sliver and chews on it. It tastes like dirt and crispiness. She makes a face.

[garmr]

It was very likely a grim mix of both. The burdensome, if burden enough, get left behind.

But Guts is eager to let that topic die, so the awkward silence hangs in the air for a good minute after Vena speaks. He was glad she didn’t push. He might’ve snapped back with something he’d regret later.

Instead, he watches her wrestle with the ungainly vegetable, and manages a little smile.

“Hey - if it’s that bad, then I’ll take it. There are worse things to eat than a turnip.”

[hasapoint]

"Turnips are horse food before you cook them," Vena complains, aware that this is a tension-breaker and totally fine with it. "I don't even know why they were in the kitchen with the small stuff, they should be in sacks."

She gets up to hand it to him instead of throwing it this time. She kind of wants to ask if he'd had any friends in the battle. Instead, Vena gives Guts the turnip and says "You're welcome."

[garmr]

He bites into the turnip like an apple, pulling off a big chunk of it with his teeth and chewing.

“Hm.” he adds. “Tastes like dirt.”

After a moment, he goes for a second bite. Guts made the commitment now and doesn’t plan on giving up. He’s eaten much worse foods, besides.

[hasapoint]

"Eeeeew," she says, and laughs when he takes another bite.