Need (Sister Lashan) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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lukeoutbelow2022-06-10 02:56 pm
hasapoint) wrote in lukeoutbelow2022-06-10 02:56 pm
Do not be afraid of light
They smelled the battlefield long before they saw it. The apprentices and little Sisters who hadn't been on this kind of excursion before covered their noses and exclaimed. Vena didn't. As the child of a camp follower she would know to expect this, but her tread slowed and she looked repeatedly at Sister Lashan, especially as the sound of incredible numbers of crows cawing grew louder.
"Nasty, isn't it? Decay is part of death which is part of life," Lashan said firmly, if not totally without sympathy. How young had she been, the last time she was upset by the aftermath of battle? "There's armies that immediately turn around and sort the living from the dying from the dead and take care of that then and there. Not here, they're leaving it for the locals to handle or not and we're local enough. If you fight, you may well fight for people who'll leave you if you fall and move on. Make sure you at least have friends who'll look for you." They pressed on with their wagon. The donkey put its ears back but did not balk.
It wasn't as bad as it would get over the next few days. The bodies - it was now academic who had belonged to which side of whichever meaningless conflict this was - were not much bloated and decayed yet. Flies were not yet overwhelming. Right now the field of bodies was mostly attended by carrion birds, and various other birds that were willing to take advantage of the bounty before them. Finches among them, tiny beaks dipped red. A few other people could be seen picking their way across what had been a perfectly useable pasture. They kept clear. Lashan tasked girls to keep watch for them anyway, pretended not to see the ones who were being sick, and oversaw as dead men were loaded onto the donkeycart. They'd take them away a distance, say the rites, strip them of useful things, get them buried, and come back.
She paused. Something... like a sound. Not a sound. Lashan was hearing something with her mind, closer than the pickers. A threat? She stood like a sentinel and paid attention.
"Nasty, isn't it? Decay is part of death which is part of life," Lashan said firmly, if not totally without sympathy. How young had she been, the last time she was upset by the aftermath of battle? "There's armies that immediately turn around and sort the living from the dying from the dead and take care of that then and there. Not here, they're leaving it for the locals to handle or not and we're local enough. If you fight, you may well fight for people who'll leave you if you fall and move on. Make sure you at least have friends who'll look for you." They pressed on with their wagon. The donkey put its ears back but did not balk.
It wasn't as bad as it would get over the next few days. The bodies - it was now academic who had belonged to which side of whichever meaningless conflict this was - were not much bloated and decayed yet. Flies were not yet overwhelming. Right now the field of bodies was mostly attended by carrion birds, and various other birds that were willing to take advantage of the bounty before them. Finches among them, tiny beaks dipped red. A few other people could be seen picking their way across what had been a perfectly useable pasture. They kept clear. Lashan tasked girls to keep watch for them anyway, pretended not to see the ones who were being sick, and oversaw as dead men were loaded onto the donkeycart. They'd take them away a distance, say the rites, strip them of useful things, get them buried, and come back.
She paused. Something... like a sound. Not a sound. Lashan was hearing something with her mind, closer than the pickers. A threat? She stood like a sentinel and paid attention.
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Galli looks more robust not soaked to the skin and lit only by blue witchlight, though right now there's drying mud all along one side of her face so she's not totally unrecognizable. She's a big, sturdy, round-cheeked girl, maybe half an inch shorter than Guts is, and when she approaches him she laces her dirty fingers together to keep from fidgeting.
"Hi. Um, I'm sorry about yesterday, and... thanks for helping that old woman out." That last part is in a lower voice, a tone adjacent to bafflement. "I didn't mean to be out that late and I wasn't expecting anyone to come looking. It's... why did she do that? She doesn't know me!" Definitely bafflement.
There is also a much smaller girl with a very worn rag doll, but she doesn't have any commentary, just watches him as unblinkingly as a cat. Probably picking her nose.
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It seemed obvious to Guts, or maybe it was the only explanation he could muster for the kindness Lashan had shown him. If she could do that for an enemy that tried to kill her, why not for one of the other enclave girls?
"Anyway, it ain't a big deal. We had an arrangement sorted out, and that was part of it. Wasn't going out of my way or anything."
Exchanges and contracts made things less complicated in Guts' world. He was just doing another job. Paying back the food and hospitality.
He didn't want Galli to think she owed him anything. He didn't want to make the mistake of letting her get too close, either. More than anything, he wanted to continue onward before growing any fonder of this place. He wanted his sword back in his hands.
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Someone hasn't gotten the memo about not telling outsiders anything about the magic practiced here, though Galli knows and has seen so little anyway that she still thinks of it as witchcraft, it hasn't sunk in that they use other terms for magic here. The enclave puts a lot of stock into oaths and they say some weird things that she's not sure even work, mostly.
The rope has been allowed to go slack as more girls notice Guts standing there. A very tall young woman with some prominent burn scars twisting one side of her mouth into a permanent sneer holds the hands of a pair of littles and watches him uncertainly.
"Hey, bear-boy!" He brought back Safflower wet but unharmed, so the stable girl from yesterday isn't going to have to find a way to kill him. "Come do tug-of-war! It's good exercise."
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Something did seem to be slightly magical about this whole place, Lashan included. It was something not typically seen in the kingdoms of the Holy See, but that thought is interrupted by the invitation to the game between them.
"You pull ropes in the rain for fun?" he retorts with a little teasing. At the same time, he presses his fingers to his sides, testing the bruising near this ribs. The pain had lessened a good amount from the bath and the medicine, but he hadn't gotten a good look at himself since the night prior. Guess he'll find out in short order how much better he's really doing.
He jumps the fence to join them, hopping to Galli's side. No streak of pain, yet. May as well join them, if he was just going to exercise himself anyway.
"All right, then. Which side?"
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"I'll be on your team," Galli decides immediately. "I'm not getting yanked off my feet! Have you played tug-of-war before? You're trying to get the first person on the other side dragged over the line but it's really just about the pulling. And that is fun, you'll see." There was a line drawn in the mud but it's so well trampled as to be indistinct.
The burned girl turns her head a bit, trying to hide her bad side from a stranger. A number of the littler kids have clustered around her, tugging her skirt and babbling. "How strong are you, Mister Boy?" She winces a little the moment she says that, mister boy, but she can't take it back. Keep talking, move on! With her twisted lip her speech is a little unclear. "It should be as even as possible. Can we start with... six girls opposite you?"
Several small children volunteer immediately. Hesri is forced to amend. "Six big girls and one little one to start." They'll all get lined up pretty quickly.
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“Sure.” he says, after what felt like forever.
Guts knew he was strong, but he measured it in the force of his swing, and ultimately in how effective he was at killing an enemy. He didn’t really have a good answer to give her to make the teams even. They could always add more if the six were mismatched.
Before taking up the rope, he tugs at the shirt collar and starts to pull it over his head.
“Lashan’s gonna run out of clothes if I keep messin’ them up.”
Despite the bizarre reaction from last night, he’d rather deal with that than be stuck cleaning mud out of clothing. And perhaps, there was a grain of actual guilt for ruining another hand-me-down that he was never really owed.
So he sets it on the nearest fencepost, away from the action. The bruising from last night looked unpleasant, but the red had darkened to a more faded blue already. He grips the side that Galli had wandered to. The rules seemed simple enough.
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"Oh..." Just who says that is unclear. There are gasps, there is craning to see and a giggle or two along with a general quiet commotion. A few who miss the subtext for whatever reason take this as a cue to get their own shirts off and are stopped and participate in hushed, furious, but it's not fair! discussions. Usually in the summer plenty of girls are running around without shirts or tunics or even breast bands, for those to whom that's not painful. The rain has things a little cool for that right now but wrestling and exertion warm a body up.
Regardless, six fighter-type teens and a small child take the rope opposite Guts. Galli goes behind him, which isn't at all so she can look at the muscles of his back and have any feelings about them whatsoever.
"Wrap your hands around the rope, not the other way around, or if something goes wrong you'll get hands like mine," Hesri says, rallying with an anxious laugh. Her hands absolutely didn't get like they are from a rope, not that she's offering them to be examined. Rope wrapping can result in losing fingers if the rope is pulled hard enough. "Let's be good sports everyone! Ready, steady... start!"
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Somewhere in his upper back and shoulders he feels a burn as he begins to resist. Fighting last night will leave him aching one way or another, though his legs were still in good order. Stubbornly, he digs the heels of his boots in and begins to step back.
It’ll take a while to wind up, but soon enough, he’ll keep tugging along as if he were helping to pull a stubborn horse out of a ditch with Galli, the effort showing the most in his forearms and shoulders. He could tell right away that his legs would be doing most of the work, and so he lets them, easing some of the burn.
It was less an explosive yank and more a steady pull backwards, occasionally set back by a small slip in the mud.
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The slow start builds confidence for the other side. They know the strategy for playing this game as a team, how to brake with their feet and add their collective weight to the rope when Guts is pulling, saving their strength for when he has to pause and then pulling all together. They coordinate easily, yelling out "Hang!" and "Pull!". But there's only so much traction to be had in the wet, churned-up ground and The Boy is, in fact, very strong. Even as sturdy farmer's children who train in physical tasks and low-level swordwork, they inexorably start to get brought forwards, yelping and protesting.
Fresh girls add themselves to the other side of the rope to reinforce them and Hesri has to tell them "Two at a time! Hey!" Some of them are absolutely ones from Lashan's party a week ago and Guts does kind of get glared at, but it's not really in the same way as when he first arrived.
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But that’s all he has time to say before slipping and losing some ground in the mud. He squares his stance to brake as much as he can, though the two of them aren’t going to have as much weight on their side.
He glares back ahead, feeling fiery inside rather than wanting to give up on the first round. He had a competitive streak buried in there, or maybe it was simple stubbornness. The burn in his shoulders worsened, but not enough to break out of him out of his pull. Through labored breaths, he talks to Galli:
“Hey.”
He glances back briefly.
“You call. I’ll follow.”
At some point, he’d recognized the coordination going on in the tugs, and figured they’d do better if they followed suit. She was more familiar with the game than he was, anyway.
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Galli's got a healthy flush going on and is a little bit out of breath. She's been giving it her all, but is also flustered and bothered and kind of jealous and doesn't like any of that, and is surprised to be given a new job. "On - hang you dig your heels in, and kinda rest. On pull, uh, yeah."
She can only see so much around him or over his shoulder, but she can hear the others just fine and it's maybe a relief to focus on that. Sure. "Hang... hang... pull!"
"Huo nooooooo..." someone says weakly in the background. The second-oldest boy present, a four-year-old, breaks free of the pack to run over and grab the trailing end of this side of the rope. Huo has not put down his rag doll and will contribute only moral support.
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With his teammate focusing on the coordinating part, he gets lost in the rhythms of his breaths, chest rising and falling with some amount of controlled exertion. His own cheeks were flushed and the rain mixed with sweat, but at each call to pull he finds some new reservoir of energy to respond with at the given opportunity. Somehow.
He looks more focused than angry, staring dead-set ahead without any particular Sister to glare at. He was too absorbed in keeping his hands on rope to notice Huo running up behind them to take the tail.
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A young adult gives a wistful sigh along the lines of "He's beautiful", which gets a ripple of laughter from the Sisters not actively pulling. They're not wrong. It doesn't even matter that he's patchy with bruises. Guts, rain-wet without the borrowed shirt of an old lady and with his usual closed expression sharpened into that intent stare, is a sight.
Some of the opponents are immune to that or too focused themselves to care. Not the girl in front, who gets the brunt of the stare even though Guts isn't particularly glaring at her. After a lot of blinking she becomes increasingly flustered, going red from hairline to below her chin. She slips entirely off her feet, slewing side to side in the mud and clinging to the rope with white knuckles. This, and knocking against the girl behind her, makes the power exerted by that side slacken a bit.
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He clenches his teeth and gives the rope a strong yank as he takes a step back, hoping their opportunity would build upon itself. His whole body had started to burn after the second round of giving and trading. One of them will have to give in soon!
He had mercifully been too focused staring ahead to hear the commentary, or he might have slipped out of sheer embarrassment.
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Galli doubles backwards like a bow, yelping hoarsely with the effort. Inexorably, the lead girl is pulled forwards into the vaguely delineated contested zone, despite new girls trying to wriggle in for handholds. There's more yelling. When her feet go over, widely spaced and churning wet earth like plowshares, some of the girls see their loss and let go to take the pressure off their stinging arms and palms.
There's suddenly a lot more slack and Galli, no longer monitoring the other side, loses her footing hard enough to end up flat on her back and skidding into Guts' ankles.
Huo is clear and will keep pulling regardless. He's finally tucked his toy clumsily under one arm so he could grip the knot at the end of the rope with both hands.
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Guts is the next domino to trip and fall, most of his back landing in the mud with a plop and one arm falling messily on Galli, draped with rope and all around her shoulders. The rope itself is now mostly slack, though one hand of his refuses to let go, looking rather red on the palm. Had he been any less tired, he would have remembered to jerk away from the two of them touching.
As it was, all he could focus on for a few seconds was getting some air into his lungs, not even minding the warmth of another human for the time being.
"Did we win?" he pipes out, finally.
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Galli is seized with some half cousin to terror and struck still. She stares up at the gray sky, forced to blink as water drips in her eyes, and doesn't move beyond to gasp like a fish. It is possible she will die, of that feeling or of the embarrassment that's circling right outside of it like a rat looking for a treat.
"We won!" Huo chirps, finally pulling this link of the line taut and bouncing it as he shakes the knot up and down. Hesri laughs and says, "Yes, yes, the boys and Galli won this one! Wow! You are strong!"
The girls on the other end have abandoned the rope to rub sore hands, lay back, walk around as each to her nature, and several of them groan as Hesri makes it official. They don't actually seem unhappy, though, and there are some enthusiastic hugs and a little bit of jumping up and down.
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“That was fun. But I think we got lucky.”
Guts isn’t sure he could pull that off a second time the way he was now. Maybe after more rest. When he turns to look at Galli, he notices her frozen expression.
“Hey, you there? Hit your head on a rock or something?” He waves a muddy hand in front of her face.
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"Uh huh," Galli says indistinctly, less in actual response and more because she's being addressed and should respond. She's turned a blotchy color under the spattered mud and is radiating heat. "I'm fine. Just leave me here."
Huo really wants to talk to him about the experience of both being boys and other small children are about to crowd in fearless and starry-eyed, largely ignoring Hesri who'd like to keep order.
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His position in the mud left him vulnerable to being surrounded by the small children swarming him, momentary peace interrupted. He was around eye-level to them, rather than towering above, which left him surrounded by a lot of tiny and curious faces with perfect opportunities to talk.
"Hey," he warns them, "Don't get too handsy."
It wasn't a snobbish gesture - much like Galli, he seems to tense up a bit at any tugs at his clothes or arms. The bombardment of 'Can you pick up a horse?' and 'What about pulling a bunch of logs?' 'No no, hauling a big rock!' type questions were quickly getting overwhelming for someone unused to the energy of excited children. Guts never thought he could feel so claustrophobic from just a bunch of voices and excited faces. Even when he was a child, he tended to be on the quieter side.
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The girls who aren't fascinated by the sight of him are dispersing back to smaller games. Hesri recruits some of those to divert at least some of the littles, who're happy to be called on and played with. When the under four feet crowd is thinner Hesri, still turning her head so her bad side is mostly concealed, asks "Do you want to try again? She's had enough, I think."
Galli has moved, but mainly to smear mud on her face in an attempt to cool it. Being left alone seems to be helping. She's pulled her knees up, which is an important step in the process of getting up. A few of the little kids are circled around her instead.
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The perpetrator of the poke doesn't get off without a frown in her direction, to emphasize the point. Once the children were mostly done accosting him with questions, he gives Galli another look from a corner-glance over his shoulder, quite comfortable in her place in the mud.
Now that he'd caught his breath some, Guts goes and gets to his feet - though the action made him sharply aware that the soreness from the previous day hadn't gone anywhere. He seems pensive at Hesri's question. Trying once out of curiosity was fine, but continuing to play silly games just seemed like such a childish thing to do. He wasn't a kid.
"Is there really nothing else to do in this village but goof off?" he asks incredulously. No work for them to get busy with?
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"Is it so hard to pay attention to anything else when you're training?" Hesri wants to know, her head tilting. There's no rebuke in the question, she just seems puzzled. "There's plenty to do, and there are Sisters in the fields and the loomhouse right now. But we try to get everyone at least an hour or so to have fun every day anyway, except during the harvest or in some kind of disaster. These are the littles and most of the athletic girls - surely you can see how pulling a rope or wrestling isn't a waste of time."
It's probably more obvious to someone who's so embraced the community. ...Behind Hesri and some looky-loos, a small child is running after some slightly older girls, all of them shrieking gleefully as the little one tries to smear mud on them. Very practical, clearly. She has to raise her voice a bit more to be heard. "You have to save up the light before the fire takes you!"
"Oh, no, not the fire metaphors," Galli mutters, just loudly enough that Guts might pick it up. Recovered enough to move she lurches upright, bringing about half the mucky field with her on her back. "I'm going to wash off! This is going to itch when it dries!"
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Without realizing he was almost begging for another fire metaphor from Hesri, he says:
"I'm feeling pretty warmed up, but I guess... Training never felt this cheery."
It either had the pressure of trying to prove himself, or a trance-like meditation, or something else. It was never jovial or playful, even if there were triumphant moments sometimes. Even if it felt right.
Wrestling with the girls admittedly seemed like a strange concept, even if he was a step closer to admitting he wouldn't mind another game. He just wasn't sure how to approach it.
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"I hope you like training, it feels good to move your body and be strong sometimes. Um, 'you' as in 'anyone'. But..." Hesri considers seriously, idly ruffling the hair of a toddler who hugs her waist. She's not keeping her bad side as sharply turned away, by this point, so her expression seems uglier than her eyes or voice suggest. "Some of it is that it's just good to do things with people who don't want to kill you. I, hah, I know what a difference that makes! And sometimes feelings kindle from one person to the next."
She turns her head to track a scuffle - as someone with an interest in child-minding there are several demands for her attention - and doesn't feel the need to intervene yet, but is half distracted anyway as she muses. "You know, if you put one stick in the fire it burns up all at once. Bundled together they last longer and are brighter. We're all ash in the end, but... mm, I need to work on that one."
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